Feminine Eloquence

The feminine woman of excellence, dear reader, speaks with thought, measure, and conviction in what it is she is saying.  This together, is what forms eloquence.

Alexa Chung for Harper's Bazaar UK July 2015 - Simone Rocha

This means that she does not waste her words in idle speech that would do more harm than good and she doesn’t use foul language or slang.   She is not necessarily overly-reserved or stand-offish, as many fear will happen if they start to become more “proper” in their speech.  A woman who speaks properly and with compassion knows how to use her tone and emotion to inflect shades of meaning and feeling into her words.

Many women speak simply for the sake of speaking, or to fill a silence that is uncomfortable.  They haven’t yet learned how to be alone with their thoughts and to be at ease with themselves.  A woman of greatness and class, though, is comfortable with and knows that in many situations silence will be more beneficial and more eloquent than her words.

uptowning:    Fatma Al-Thani’s “Afternoon Tea”, for Harper’s Bazaar Arabia.  (Image via Haute Couturista Street Style.)

Situations in which a woman should not respond verbosely include:

  • When someone is rude to or insults her
  • When she is attempting to comfort someone who has been hurt and who is in need of support
  • When a relationship with a man has ended, for whatever reason – under no circumstances should she attempt to repeatedly contact him or ask for him to explain what he or she did wrong, or anything of the sort. It will not get her what she wants, and it is not the correct behavior.  But this topic is lengthy and will be for another article and another day.
  • When she is not receiving positive and encouraging signals to continue from the person to whom she is speaking

And more.

Zoe Saldana for Harper's Bazaar Arabia September 2012

On the other hand, there will be some times when it is very important for a woman to speak up and voice her thoughts.  These include:

  • When someone does something that is not morally or ethically right, in her presence
  • When someone attempts to harm her, or another person
  • When what she has to say will lighten another’s spirits, or bring them clarity and peace
  • In giving genuine and well-thought compliments
  • When called upon to deliver her expertise or educated advice and counsel
  • When correcting her children or those whom she has be entrusted as something of a guardian or supervisor over
  • When communicating with her man about something that he has done that makes her unhappy or uncomfortable (again, this is a lengthy and nuanced topic and will be treated in further depth at another time)

KAYTURE: VUITTON LOBBY

Not only is it important for a woman to know what to say and when to say it, it is equally important for her to use language which shows self-respect and honor, for herself and for others.

A woman never uses foul language, under any circumstances or in any situation because she knows that this will never truly fix the situation that called for it in the first place (if done out of anger) and because she has no need to project a false image of strength or “toughness” to others (if done for purposes of ego and image).

She also knows that such language will be repulsive and distasteful to women of class that she would like to call her friends, confidants, and associates, and also to high-value men that she wishes to attract.

If a man of truly high value and class, sees a girl that is beautiful, but then hears her perhaps refer to herself and her friends as “bad bitches” or use some other sort of poor language, he will immediately and without question discount her as someone he wishes to have as a partner.  Even if he doesn’t consciously think about it, he will know he can’t “bring her home to meet the family” or trust her fully in any situation in which he needs to look good and earn respect.  She is simply too much of a liability to be included in his life in that way.

Far East Fashion Photography - Tara Emad Harper's Bazaar Arabia Takes on Oriental-Inspired Pieces (GALLERY)

If she uses foul language, she will not only repel those sorts of people, she will attract and bring in people who sense her lack of understanding and self-respect and who do not want to go to the effort of treating her in the manner that she needs and wants to be treated, as a woman.

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