There is no need to rush, dear reader, and in fact you should probably slow down. Nervous energy and frenzied activity do not lead to greater productivity, success, or accomplishments and creations of much true worth or greatness.
To be your best, do your best, and produce your best, you will certainly need to put in what will be a great deal of effort. But when you are performing at your highest level, you are in a focused, relaxed state, often referred to as “the zone” or “flow in psychology.
And this is possible because you do not need to figure out where you are going, and why you are doing whatever it is you are doing in that moment – you already know this and are free to simply act.
This is the state of mind required for intimacy, and it is also the state of mind required for optimum activity. The pursuit of “the zone” is the reason why many people play video games or practice yoga – both aim at the same thing, that state of relaxed control in which you are so focused on your task that you forget everything else, including your own self and ego. Many successful people from the fields of music, sports, and business describe how their level of competition is related to achievement of “the zone.”
Business extraordinaire Mark Cuban refers to it as “the edge”:
“That’s what success is all about. It’s about the edge. It’s not whom you know. It’s not how much money you have. It’s very simple. It’s whether or not you have the edge and have the guts to use it. The edge is getting so jazzed about what you do, you just spent 24 hours straight working on a project and you thought only a couple of hours had passed. The edge is knowing that you have to be the smartest guy in the room when you have your meeting and you are going to put in the effort to learn whatever you need to learn to get there. The edge is knowing how to blow off steam a couple times a week, just so you can refocus on business. That’s what makes business such an amazing sport. Everyone plays it. Everyone talks about how good he or she is or will be at it. Just a small percentage are. If you are in a growing industry, there could be hundreds or thousands of strangers trying to figure out ways to put you out of business. How cool is that?! The ultimate competition. It’s the sport of business. It’s not for everyone, but I love it.”
The zone, dear reader, is not only for male athletes and businesspeople, but it is also for women.
There is a feminine version of “the zone” as well.
Your mind is not in a dozen different places and directions at once; it is in the here and now, this particular moment. Perhaps you are preparing a gourmet meal for yourself and your husband. You aren’t thinking about the five projects you have going at work, your mother’s medical issues, the cute new outfits you want to buy, what Lady Gaga said last week, or even how much your husband will enjoy your cooking. You think about nothing at all, consciously, but are highly tuned into your task, your movements are fluid and calm, and your full attention is diverted to dicing tomatoes.
Women are very prone to this sort of scattered-mindedness and erroneously label it multi-tasking. Multi-tasking is something different entirely, when you are able to easily switch from one activity to another, at a moment’s notice without pause or readjustment.
This is also one of the attributes of a woman that will attract a man, almost irresistibly. Men, whether they admit it or not, want a home, and they will associate “home” with a particular woman. They seek a place of refuge, of quietude, where they can just be and rejuvenate. They seek an atmosphere of harmony and love, not one of jarring disquiet and agitation. A woman’s love and care is an incredibly healing thing for a man, dear reader. If he can’t find this waiting for him at home, with her, he will be put off and feel a sense of resentment towards the woman, whether he knows the source of those feelings or not.
When we are in that rushed state, dear reader, we expend a great deal of energy that goes nowhere, which is why we are still unfulfilled and unhappy with our accomplishments when we are in that frame of mind. We are not being fully efficient and directing our attention and efforts to what matters most to us, and what will have the greatest impact. If you find yourself feeling frustrated, dear reader, this may be why.
Many women find themselves doing more without getting more in return, and this leads them to burn-out, fatigue, and stress. It would be better for them to simply stop and do less, taking the opportunity to tune in to themselves and do what will nourish and fulfill them on every level.