The feminine woman of excellence understands that while she can be kind and loving to all of humanity, not all of humanity are fit to be her close associates, members of her inner circle.
That is because, dear reader, we are more affected by our environment and the people around us than we like to admit. We become exactly what we think and believe, and the mentality of the people you trust and keep close to you will almost invariably become your mentality as well, unless you make a conscious choice to resist it.
If you wish to become wealthy, it’s very unlikely that a person who is in poverty will teach you how you can become so; likewise, if you wish to be happy, loving, kind, and generous, it’s unlikely that a person who is negative, hateful, self-centered, and miserly is going to help you become that person.
When selecting friends and associates, you should seek out those with attributes you would like to develop in your own self; your inner character and outer circumstances will to a large extent be shaped by those choices.
This is by no means a new concept, but few truly understand how deep this goes, or how relevant it is to their day life and personal affairs.
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm – Proverbs 13:20
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers – Psalm 1:1
Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? – Proverbs 6:27
But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler – not even to eat with such a one – 1 Corinthians 5:11
Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare – Proverbs 22:24-25
Keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us – 2 Thessalonians 3:6
One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray – Proverbs 12:26
Do not be deceived, bad company ruins good morals – 1 Corinthians 15:33
Think about it carefully, dear reader; when have you ever witnessed a great woman keeping close friendship with someone who is not bettering her as a woman, in some way? Sure, she may, and often does, spend her time helping those less fortunate than herself, but they are not the people whom she confides in for serious concerns and does not share too much of her inner self with them. They are not her equals and are simply not qualified to help her better herself on a moral, intellectual, material, or emotional level.
Great women will keep out of their inner circle those who:
- Gossip or slander
- Are boisterous, loud, or uncontrolled
- Dress in a manner that shows lack of self-respect or morality
- Are contentious or overly argumentative
- Lack empathy
- Criticize or ridicule any other person
- Are jealous or envious
- Complain frequently
- Cheat, lie or steal
Association with anyone who engages in these activities will be damaging to a woman and her femininity. Have you ever wondered why you are so put off and repulsed by someone who insults you or otherwise emits negativity? It is because you already know, instinctively and emotionally, if not cognitively, that such behavior will eventually harm you if you allow yourself to be exposed to it for too long.
Exposure to negativity, dear reader, has the power to destroy one’s health and even one’s life itself. It is one of the reasons why a man will react so strongly and quickly to avoid a woman who “nags” him, losing whatever love and affection he once had for her, even if at one point he loved her deeply:
“The wife of Count Leo Tolstoi discovered that—after it was too late. Before she passed away, she confessed to her daughters: ‘I was the cause of your father’s death.’ Her daughters didn’t reply. They were both crying. They knew their mother was telling the truth. They knew she had killed him with her constant complaining, her eternal criticisms, and her eternal nagging. Yet Count Tolstoi and his wife ought, by all odds, to have been happy. He was one of the most famous novelists of all time. Two of his masterpieces, War and Peace and Anna Karenina will forever shine brightly among the literary glories of earth.”
This is why it is important for a woman to guard against any negativity in herself and in those she associates with; she must know how to set and maintain boundaries so that she can properly honor herself, as a woman. For example, association with “friends” who are secretly (or openly) jealous or envious of her, will cause a successful and aspiring woman sadness and other negative emotions, if she truly cares about those people and wishes for them to be close to her. Those emotions will be unhealthy for her, both physically and mentally. She may even begin to try to downplay her accomplishments or hide her attributes and excellence in a form of “apology,” which is a great dis-service to her own unique and divine being.
In the worst case scenario, she may even pick up on the habit and learn to wish ill or feel negativity at news of others’ success and joy, even if she had never experienced that in the past. This is the primary reason why it is of utmost importance to be highly selective about who you share your joy, success, hurt, and truest self with; only a few should be privy to your feminine and human vulnerability.
“Surround yourself with people who are only going to lift you higher” – Oprah Winfrey
“I think it’s important to get your surroundings as well as yourself into a positive state – meaning surround yourself with positive people, not the kind who are negative and jealous of everything you do.” – Heidi Klum
“You are who you surround yourself with. I know that’s such a cliché quote, but it’s true.” – Selena Gomez