Men want to feel needed

There is a bit of confusion on this point, dear reader.  Many girls and women are told that they must not appear to be “too needy” as this is somewhat repulsive and tends to drive a man away.

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This is true, but many women misinterpret this and take it too far.

Fundamentally, a man needs to feel as if he is being useful to a woman, making her happier, and making her a better person.  A woman must give him opportunities to feel this way, or he will feel as though he isn’t benefiting her and therefore that there’s no point to being with her.

For example, the woman who always refuses help, assistance and advice from a man because she needs to be “independent” is not attracting him with her ability to handle everything, but is in fact driving him away because he feels he can’t do anything useful for her.

And in reality, dear reader, the more independent a woman is, the less she needs to prove that point.  A woman who truly can take care of herself in all respects is not stuck in the rebellion stage.  She is secure in the knowledge that she would be able to handle any situation that comes her way regardless of whether she allows a man to help her or not.  It is the woman desperately trying to prove to herself and the world that she is not, indeed a “damsel in distress” that doesn’t allow it.

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The truly independent woman allows a man to help her because she knows that he is offering because he truly wants to do it, and because she wants to give him that sense of fulfillment and appreciation.  Both know he doesn’t have to assist her, and it is because he doesn’t have to but wants to that it has any meaning at all, dear reader.

It is much like graciously accepting a gift.  Many women see it as a breach of etiquette when someone cannot accept a compliment or a gift graciously, but instead rejects it or refuses it.  In fact, it is widely agreed that it is downright rude for a woman to behave in this way.

Yet when it comes to accepting displays of courtesy and care from a man, many women will quickly do that same.

The man, in almost every case, is acting with good intentions and is not “expecting something more” out of it from the woman.  He truly just wants to see a woman smile at him in genuine appreciation.  Everyone wants to feel valued and appreciated, dear reader, and a man is certainly no different.  When he is put out in this way, he will feel much as the woman who is underappreciated and whose ideas go unnoticed or ignored in the office.

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This women likely does not stay long in that job, and neither will such a man.  If a man sees he is not properly appreciated and valued by a woman, he will move on and take what he has to offer elsewhere.

In fact, this issue causes a large number of problems in relationships and marriages, dear reader, and is a major reason why many end unhappily.

If a woman has a legitimate reason, however, for denying offered help from a man, that is completely different.  A woman is never obligated to accept help or to trust a man she doesn’t know well, and if she has some other reason (i.e. she may be in a hurry, etc.), she still communicates to the man that she is genuinely thankful for his offer but absolutely cannot accept it.  It is her choice whether to give any reason for her refusal or not – she is certainly not obligated to.

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