Most women sense that self-control is a quality that they should be practicing, but few truly understand that the level at which they can practice it is precisely the level of influence they will have on the people around them, on society, and on the world. It is also precisely the quality of life she will enjoy.
Without it, a woman will go absolutely nowhere and will have a difficult time gaining the respect and trust she wants and needs.
Real power lies in controlling oneself, not other people.
This concept is not new; it has been noted over and over again throughout history by those who have discovered its truth.
“I will be calm. I will be mistress of myself” – Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility
“If you conquer yourself, then you conquer the world” – Paulo Coelho
“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still” – Lau Tzu
“I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself” – Robert E. Lee
It’s true that self-control is a virtue that will take time, great effort, and great patience to develop, but the woman who cannot control herself is at the mercy of her circumstances and her existence will be defined by stress, difficulty, ignorance, and a series of trials in which she can play only the role of the victim.
The avoidance of this fate, dear reader, is something I am sure you would wish for, even if it required much of you.
The woman lacking self-control:
- Is often frustrated, tired, stressed, without knowing exactly why
- Develops health issues as a result
- Gets into unresolved arguments with family members, friends, coworkers, and others with whom she associates
- Cannot suppress rudeness, anger, and other negative feelings when they would cause more harm, both to herself and others
- Attracts only low-value men who instinctively know that she will demand less of them
- Will not be able to “hold out” and wait until the proper time to be intimate with a man she has just met and is interested in
- Repels high-value men who immediately recognize her as someone unqualified to be a life-partner that will make him a better person
- Indulges in foods and activities she knows are bad for her and that she will regret later
- Does not know when to stop drinking and puts herself in compromising situations
- Allows her attraction to a particular man to overshadow her needs and requirements as a woman, resulting in a relationship or pseudo-relationship that is less that what she, as a woman, has a right to enjoy
- Loses her “cool” when dealing with her children, disciplining them in a way that teaches them that they are unloved and unwanted
- Lives in a state of fear, especially in new situations, because she knows she cannot always trust herself to remain calm and in control of her surroundings
- Is financially unhealthy; does not know how to stick to a budget; engages in impulse purchasing, “retail therapy” and is perhaps in debt
- Becomes selfish or self-centered because she finds herself with so little energy left that she has none to spare for others
She will have less authority in society, earn a lower income, have less satisfying relationships, have more health issues, and will be capable of accomplishing and contributing far less than her more self-controlled counterparts.
Imagine, dear reader, what would happen if first lady Michelle Obama began to behave with indiscretion and perhaps spoke negatively of those in her circle to the press, engaged in arguments, went drinking to the point of inebriation, or had an affair that went public. Surely she would lose her position and almost anything good in her life, quite rapidly. This is an extreme example, but it makes the point obvious – no woman who has any sort of personal power or influence and accomplishment is devoid of self-control.
The beginning of self-control is in self-awareness. First, a woman must recognize when she is experiencing a negative emotion that must be controlled. She must be in tune with herself.