How to Make Friends

The more social a woman is, dear reader, the more successful she is.

 

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This is because, dear reader, we need the support of others in order to achieve whatever it is we wish for and hope for – it truly is impossible to accomplish anything worthwhile solely on one’s own.

In business, being social is called “networking”; in other areas of life it is simply a matter of being able to make meaningful connections easily, and finding enjoyment in  doing so.

Networking has a connotation and reputation as being something that is forced, but in truth the process of making connections with others should really be fun and enjoyable, not a stressful or pressured event.

Women who are “networkers” or who seem to know everyone and be known by everyone tend to be able to organize and orchestrate their plans and hopes easily – they know exactly who they must contact and which people they need to get together to get something done.

 

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But the women who are skilled connectors, dear reader, likely do not set out with any certain agenda.  They simply enjoy getting to know new people, and get energy from bringing different people within their own networks together.

There has been much buzz about the benefits of being introverted (i.e. making fewer but deeper connections, etc.), but it is the extroverted and outgoing women, dear reader, that know about exciting opportunities before they happen, get invited to interesting events and parties, and become exposed to more unique and current ideas and interesting people.
The woman who shrinks away from socializing out of a habitual shyness most certainly misses out on these opportunities.

It is well documented that a large majority of job offers, business deals, social arrangements, and the like are accomplished via a personal connection through one’s network; the more opportunity a woman would like, the more she should put effort into building one.

 

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Successful socializing first and foremost requires that a woman forgets about herself for the moment.  People who are self-conscious and overly concerned about how others will perceive them will not get the most out of a networking experiences simply because they are focused on the wrong person.  The point of socializing is to hear others and to listen to what they have to say with genuine interest.

A good networker, and friendship-builder, dear reader, is a woman who is a good listener.

Many women think that perhaps they are not interesting enough, not accomplished enough, successful enough, or dazzlingly beautiful enough to be the life of the party.  But this is not the case – they simply must be interested enough.

That is it.

People are quite simple dear reader – they are most interested in themselves, their ideas, and their own projects and feel instantly connected to any woman who will listen to their words with genuine interest.

 

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For this to happen, you must be engaged in the conversation.  This means asking questions at appropriate times, maintaining eye contact and focus (i.e. not displaying a darting gaze that makes it look like you are searching for an escape from the interaction) and best of all, smiling (not overdoing it of course).

This all comes very naturally, dear reader, when you are focused on whatever it is the person or people to whom you are talking are interested in discussing (most likely themselves, but occasionally it will be an idea or other interest).

A woman who is good at making connections, dear reader, first believes that others have something interesting to contribute, and she is willing to patiently discover that, before switching the subject over to herself and what she hopes and dreams for.

 

Something about Nothing:

 

If you don’t consider yourself naturally outgoing, but would like to become so, the only way to accomplish that is to go out and practice – happy socializing!  (:

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3 thoughts on “How to Make Friends

  1. Great post. I suffer from social anxiety and I heard that exposure therapy is a great way to get rid of this condition. To force yourself into social situations and experience that you overestimate the danger.

    Like

  2. I dont trust people (women) enough to network. Most are fake and wear masks. You never know who’s loyal to you or not. I too, InternalBasis suffer from social anxiety and major introvert, it’s tough.

    Like

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