Archive | January 2016

The Importance of Belief

Belief, dear reader, in what one can do and what one can be is the limiting factor to what a woman accomplishes in her life.

 

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You have surely heard the saying many times, “whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t you are right” and it is true.

This is because it is human nature to conserve our efforts and only put in the hard work towards goals and ambitions that we believe are achievable.

Simply put, if, deep down, you do not truly believe something is possible, you will not put in the effort necessary to achieve it.  It becomes a so-called self-fulfilling prophecy.

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“The mental picture of oneself was of the utmost significance in determining a person’s success and life choices.  Why then do people continue to look at themselves in a way that is less than successful?  Why do people set goals and make plans, when they truly do not believe that they have the ability within themselves to accomplish them? When reaching the goal becomes so real to us that no amount of work becomes too much.  We literally become who we want to be in our minds, long before we become it in life.”

A perfect example of this principle in action was during the turn-around of the Green Bay Packers shortly after Vince Lombardi was hired as the new team coach:

Lombardi was a motivational genius who saw everything in psychological terms. To him the National Football League teams were virtually equal in talent. The differences lay in attitude and morale: reversing the Packers’ defeatism would translate into wins, which would lift their morale, which in turn would bring more wins. Lombardi knew he had to approach his players indirectly–had to trick them into changing. He began with a show of confidence, talking as if he assumed they were winners who had fallen on bad times. That got under their skins, far more than they realized. Then, in his practices, Lombardi didn’t make demands–a defensive, whiny approach that betrays insecurity. Instead he changed the practices’ spirit, making them quiet, intense, focused, workmanlike. He knew that willpower is tied to what you believe possible; expand that belief and you try harder. Lombardi created a better team–which won its first game–by making its players see possibilities. Defeat was no longer comfortable.

 

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This brings up an interesting point, dear reader – it is not innate talent or skill that separates out successful football teams or successful women.  What makes the difference is one’s morale, what she believes is possible for herself.

Dear reader, do you honestly believe it is possible for you to become a gorgeous woman?  To make a six figure salary?  To have a loving and rewarding relationship or marriage?

Until you do, you will find that these things will elude you.  You must train yourself and act as your own Coach Lombardi on the path to achieving your hopes, ambitions, and dreams (:

 

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Earning Respect in a Relationship

Too many women, dear reader, often complain of a lack of “respect” in a relationship.

 

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They feel underappreciated, and resentful because they know that this is not how things should be.  They should be cherished, adored, and treasured – they are women after all.

It can be incredibly frustrating to feel as though you should be doing something in order to garner more respect as a woman in a relationship dear reader.

But often, the real answer is that you should be doing less.

Such situations can be created when the man senses that the woman has more of her heart, emotions, etc. invested in the relationship than he does.

Knowing this, he may watch her grow frustrated, but do nothing to change his behavior.

 

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What you must do, dear reader, if you want a change in the dynamic, is to shift the focus away from him and back to yourself.

There are many ways you can go about this.

The first and perhaps most immediately effective way to make a man “step up his game” and work to treat you better, dear reader, is to make him feel less sure of your emotional investment in him.

This isn’t necessarily the solution for all women, dear reader, so it is said with caution: making yourself seem available to other men and less interested in him will without a doubt capture his attention and concern him in a way that perhaps nothing else will.

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“The woman who gets what she wants needs to be earned.  The guy knows that if he doesn’t bring his best, there’s another guy who will happily bring his best and win you away from him.  If you’re not getting what you want in your relationship, there’s nothing wrong with leaving yourself open to allowing a man to come along and actually give you what you’re looking for.  Ironically, when you have that mentality, that’s what makes a man snap into action and start working to please you and keep you happy.  He knows that if he doesn’t, another man will steal you away.  Plus, it’s a win-win for you – he either steps up to the plate and puts in the effort you want or you discover that he actually was a dead-end (and would have never stepped up) and you end up with a guy who actually does want to give you the relationship you wanted.”

If this feels like too much, or going to far, dear reader, you can also try to distance yourself emotionally in other ways, ways that will also tend to create a healthier lifestyle for you regardless.

 

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You can spend more time out with girlfriends, pursuing hobbies that you have always been interested, or your career.  In general, putting the focus on areas of your life that you enjoy will help you – just remember that some of these accomplishments you can keep to and for yourself – you don’t have to appraise your significant other of everything you partake in.  Leave some room for mystery in order to keep him guessing and on his toes (:

 

Being Open to Life’s Possibilities

The feminine woman of excellence, dear reader, is a joy to be around – she is full of life and she attracts both men and women alike to her.

 

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She is so attractive, because she is open to life’s possibilities.  Many people, dear reader, become closed to what life has to offer as they grow older.  They experience defeat, perhaps betrayal and misfortune, and they are impaired by it.

The woman who remains open to life’s possibilities is not somehow a “teflon” woman who has miraculously dodged and deflected these things, dear reader.  She has experienced them as well, and been hurt by them.  But she accepts that such is a part of life, and she doesn’t take them personally.  She doesn’t beat herself up endlessly for experiencing a misfortune.  Rather, she has learned to cope by seeking the support of those close to her and by using what she’s experienced to become a more intricate, complicated, and interesting woman.

A comforting thought, in that situation, dear reader, is that a woman who is truly an alluring and intriguing queen cannot become that way by only experiencing the positive elements and lightness of life.  She has gotten in touch with her darker emotions as well, and explored all sides of herself.

 

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Once she has accepted whatever has happened to her (or that she herself has brought about) in life, she is free to remain open to what the world has to offer her, just as she did as a child.

She wakes energized and excited to start each new day, and expects good things to happen to her (on the whole, not all the time, of course).

And it is, ironically, this attitude which often creates that very same result in reality.

“Our lives are filled with endless possibilities.  We just have to open our minds to see them.  This means making smart choices.  For example, we can choose to act or to react or to sit by and watch life pass us by.  And in everything we do, every day, we have a choice to make.  Are we going to be great? Or are we going to be mediocre?  Why not choose to be great?  Why not wake up every morning and ask yourself what you are going to do today that is different and better from what you did yesterday?  Why not open your eyes to the endless possibilities that exist when you make a commitment to live the life you dream of living?”

 

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