How to Overcome Trust Issues

“Trust issues”, dear reader, are a big factor in relationships that women must learn to overcome if they are to truly experience love in the way it’s meant to be felt and experienced.

 

Azzedine Alaïa Heels:

 

 

Love isn’t meant to be a half~hearted situation in which you are cautiously clinging onto a raft for safety out of fear that you may drown – you are meant to float gloriously and to swim elegantly with happiness!

Trust issues will keep you clinging when you are meant to fly.

They usually stem from some type of past betrayal, and dear reader, that is where you must begin.  You need to confront whatever happened to have caused that caution and then dismiss it.

For example, infidelity can cause a woman to doubt and second-guess herself and make it hard to really open up, on an emotional level to another person, even if that person and her new situation have nothing to do with whatever caused her lack of trust.

 

"My requests to the Universe manifest in abundance. The Universe is limitless, and so am I.":

 

What she needs to do, dear reader, is to accept that it was truly out of her control.  Think of it this way – you can’t force a person to act in any specific way or to do anything for you.  You absolutely cannot make a person be faithful to you.  They will either choose to be, or choose not to be and there is nothing you can do to make that choice for them.  If they agreed to be in an exclusive relationship with you, it was their responsibility to be faithful, not yours.  Any guilt you feel needs to be eliminated.

Where many women get stuck is the idea that they could have done something differently, or inspired a deeper love that would have made their partner adore them to such a level that they would never consider infidelity.  Coming to terms with the fact that you never achieved that kind of love can be a difficult pill to swallow.  Alternatively, it can be an even harder pill to swallow if that love was there but you were betrayed regardless.

 

To be a powerful woman, you don't have to be aggressive or forceful.  Like a tree, you have to find your roots and then you can bend in the wind. ~ Angela Farmer:

 

What you need to understand is that in both cases you it was not something you could directly control, so you need to stop letting it eat away at your self-esteem or thinking through all the possible scenarios about what you could have done differently.  No matter how unlovable a partner is, or how (un)fulfilled someone is feeling a relationship, the mature action to take is always to sit down and confront that truth head-on.  Cheating is often a form of avoidance.  Opening up to your partner in an honest way about how you feel – whether that is simply that you think you’ve outgrown the other and it’s time to move on, or there are specific issues that you are afraid to confront and work through is difficult.  It requires an honesty and maturity that a lot of people simply haven’t yet developed.

Once you understand that, you can see how internalizing a partner’s behavior doesn’t make sense and is counter~productive.

After dismissing any self-blame, and reframing any past situations, dear reader, you are ready to open yourself up.

 

Banyan Tree Seychelles, Mahe Island: looks relaxing (photo from hotels.com):

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5 thoughts on “How to Overcome Trust Issues

  1. I couldn’t have found this blog particularly this post at a better time. I’m trying to deal with a familiar situation right at this moment. I enjoyed your post and plan to read plenty more of them, so thank you

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