Feminine Insight

You may have heard of the term feminine intuition, but the feminine woman of excellence has feminine insight as well dear reader.




Insight is defined as the understanding of a specific cause and effect, in context or the apprehending of the true nature of a thing, especially through intuitive understanding.

Feminine insight is the gift or ability that a feminine woman of excellence has in identify a situation for what it is (or Seeing Things As They Are) and responding appropriately.  The feminine woman is also insightful, meaning that she is perceptive.  She reflects often and understands the interconnectedness of all of life.


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The advantage of having insight is that the feminine woman of excellence spots patterns more quickly and instantly read any situation, be it an interpersonal conflict, a relationship issue, or even a workplace problem she’s been tasked to solve.

“People in a better mood are more likely to solve problems by insight.”

“Research has shown sleep to help produce insight.”


She takes care of herself and her body first and foremost, with right diet, nutrition, exercise, and sleep.


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This can sometimes be easier said than done, however.  Proper self-care truly requires management of all aspects of one’s life and will be covered separately. (:


How to Become More Confident

The feminine woman of excellence, dear reader, is first and foremost confident in who she is, what she can do for the world, what she believes in, and what she is willing to stand (or not stand) for.


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However, confidence is not something she was born with.

She acquired that confidence over time, by taking risks and action, by putting herself in situations that were perhaps uncomfortable for her, at first.

Many pretend that they are confident when they don’t actually feel that way, because there is a stigma associated with being non~confident and insecure.

While it is true that it can be helpful to “fake” confidence at times when you don’t really feel it, to make true personal progress and be one of the rare, rare women who are able to come across as authentically confident in who she is, you must start by being honest with yourself and where you are at.


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There is no shame in admitting to yourself or to those you trust, in what areas you don’t feel confident, because once you do you can either work through those emotions or do something to change them.  As long as you avoid or pretend those areas don’t exist, you won’t be able to take any action, and taking action is what will dissolve any non~confidence or fear.

If, dear reader, you are afraid of public speaking, join a toastmasters group.  Volunteer to give presentations to key clients at work.  Do anything and everything you can to put yourself in that type of situation until you become comfortable, and therefore confident in it!

Confidence begins with one such small act of courage.  You don’t need to give a speech addressing the U.S. Senate to begin with to start building confidence, for example.  Too many women are halted and kept in states of inaction and non~progress because they can’t see or are unwilling to take the micro-actions that will eventually build them up to the larger arenas they truly wish to be at.


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“Start where you are.  Use what you have.  Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe

How to Build a Network, and Why You Need One

The intelligent woman of excellence, dear reader, builds a network.   As a child you were probably taught that you needed to make friends, but that’s not necessarily true; even more important to your health and wellbeing is your ability to be smart and build a network.

To clarify before going in depth as to how to develop a network, first it is important to understand what a network is and is not.  A network is not the people you would simply consider friends to hang out with casually, go for drinks, or share stories with, though these people might be part of your network.  In other words, it is possible for someone to be a part of your network and also simply a friend, but not everyone in your network is necessarily someone you would call a “friend” in the traditional sense and not every friend makes a valuable connection that you would want in your network.


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A network is also not the group of people you are connected with on LinkedIn, Facebook, or another other platform, though the same applies – they may exist in those places.

network is a compilation of contacts that you have collected over time.  Many people approach networking with the mentality that you simply reach out to potential employers or potential clients.  However, this is far too limited.

The contacts in your network should also include people that may play a part in your life somewhere down the line as employees, investors, advisors, mentors, other networkers or extremely well connected people who can connect you to others.


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Everything of worth that has ever been accomplished, dear reader, has been done so through the help and support of many other people.  There is no such thing as a “self made man” or a lone success story.  The wonderful and progressive accomplishments in life will not happen without a well-developed network.

This is something that has been too misunderstood and mistakenly interpreted in a number of other ways including “social climbing.”  Social climbing, for instance, implies that you are seeking out contacts to advance only yourself and that you aren’t really concerned with any larger goals beyond yourself.


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That’s not what true networking, good networking looks like.  Generally, those intentions come across fairly obviously and tend to block any meaningful connections anyhow.  Good networking is done out of the spirit of authenticity – your purpose is greater than yourself; you want to accomplish some larger goal or dream for the good of humanity, and you know there are others out there that will be willing to support that same goal or dream.  It may be something you have in mind now, or it could be something you develop in the future.  It could be anything from the simple desire to have a particular sort of job so that you can develop your own self and contribute value to a company and the economy, or it could be that you’d like to solve a larger problem for society, perhaps a social issue, or a technological problem, and would like to start a company to do so.

Networking is by far one of the best investments you can make as a feminine woman of excellence; in most cases it is completely free, and it can be a great way to meet and make friends with the high-quality people who care about society and are pushing themselves to grow as well, even if nothing ever comes to fruition with them in a purely business sense.  Moreover, you yourself will become a more interesting, engaged, and well-informed person if you do this.


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Now to transition into how to network.  This is also important because many people get it wrong.  Perhaps the one most important thing to understand is that networking is about you learning from others that you meet.  It is an opportunity to find out what they do, what sort of business they are in, what motivates them, what key issues they are facing, and any number of other topics.  The key is to step back and listen, and to get them talking.  Be curious and genuinely interested!

Of course, when asked about your goals, aspirations, and current projects you should be confident and be able to clearly state what defines you, but one of the worst ways to shoot yourself in the foot while networking is to walk into a room full of people and leave with a sore jaw, yet no additional knowledge or real information about the people you’ve met.  You must make a meaningful connection.  Think of it a bit as you would dating, however here the end goal is not to meet a future spouse but people to do business with and friends.

Some great places to start are your local chamber of commerce, local seminars, conferences, or community and business events.  Many events are listed under Eventbrite, as well as your city’s major newspapers and business publications.

Happy networking! (:




Coping with Betrayal

Betrayal, dear reader, is often one of the most difficult and time-consuming setbacks for a woman to overcome.


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It can truly hit her like the proverbial “brick wall” and stop her dead in her tracks.

Betrayal is one of the most painful human experiences. Discovering that someone we trusted has deeply hurt us pulls the reality rug from under us. A damaging aspect of betrayal is that our sense of reality is undermined. What felt like solid trust suddenly crumbles. Our innocence is shattered. We’re left wondering: What happened? How could this happen? Who is this person?

Perhaps what is so uniquely harmful about betrayal is that it leaves us questioning our own selves and our judgement about who to trust and who not to.

A typical reaction is often to suffer from a severe pull-back in trust more generally.  It becomes more difficult to be open after betrayal, and what’s worse, dear reader, is that we no longer trust our own selves.


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“When someone breaks your trust don’t feel stupid for trusting them. You didn’t do anything wrong they’re just an untrustworthy person.”

Betrayal is not only about the one who shattered our trust, it is about trusting ourselves not to put ourselves into compromising situations with untrusting people where we may be hurt.

Often-times, after a betrayal, whether that be an extra-marital affair or something else, a woman will beat herself up for her own foolishness.  In many cases, dear reader, the woman who instead simply blames the other party and gets angry, will heal much faster and be able to move on with resilience.

This is because the first thing that needs to be accomplished in order to move on from betrayal is a trust in one’s self and one’s own judgement.

“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on it’s own wings.”


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You must, dear reader, first trust in your own wings.  The branch is like all the external factors and people that may betray you, but your wings are your own judgement of who and who not to trust, how much of yourself you are willing to invest in someone else, and your unique personality make-up and resilience – your ability to recover and come back stronger if betrayed.

First and foremost, dear reader, you must get it into your head that you are not completely at fault for whatever betrayal you have suffered.  Sure, you may have been more naive than you are now, but it is still not worth analyzing or beating yourself up over.  It does not mean that you were foolish, naive, or too trusting.  It means that you simply misread a situation or didn’t appreciate all of the details involved.  But, dear reader, no one does, in any situation!

And betrayal may feel like a personal failure, but it is not.  Absolutely everyone, from the most advanced spies to con artists, are at some point betrayed.


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The natural reaction to become dark and cynical, and to have a severe contraction in one’s ability to trust following betrayal, dear reader, is almost always an over-reaction.

After betrayal, we tend to believe people are worse than they really are, even the one (or ones) who have betrayed us.  Perhaps they are the most calculating people to ever walk the face of the planet, but the more likely truth is that the betrayal isn’t as bad as you have imagined.

“In most cases, people, even the most vicious, are much more naive and simple-minded than we assume them to be. And this is true of ourselves too.”

This isn’t to say to simply let someone off the hook or to trust indiscriminately, however.


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But in order to move on and to live the healthy, happy, and productive life you deserve, dear reader you will need to learn to trust and be open.  If you are unable to do this, betrayal will continue to have a lasting and detrimental impact, holding you back from all that you know you can be.

It also helps, dear reader, to give yourself time.  You can’t expect to immediately bounce back following an unexpected breach in trust.  It will take time, and it helps to be patient with oneself, understanding that you may not feel like your usual self overnight, but that it’s okay.

“Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that from you.”

How to Keep a Secret

The feminine woman of excellence, dear reader, knows how to keep a secret.


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Biologically, psychologically, and emotionally, however this can be challenging.  For most people, keeping a secret raises stress hormone levels, and this triggers a pretty strong desire to share what we know.  It’s a natural instinct to want to let another person what we know – this has an evolutionary purpose as well – letting another in on a secret could protect you if you need someone’s help in situation.

But there are other times, dear reader, when not keeping a secret is worse than keeping it – when someone could be harmed by revealing it.  It is, for example, not appropriate to share what was told to you in confidence from a friend that trusts you.  A good case study is when a friend tells you about her love life – sharing this information with the wrong people could hurt both her and whomever else might be involved and the personal nature of the information means that if it’s revealed in the wrong context, it will without a doubt cause damage.


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Generally, says von Reiche, “secrets do create a lot of separation from other people, and they also prevent you from feeling truly authentic.” But psychologists say there are also situations where it might be better to withhold information from people, even close friends, if the revelation of secrets would cause more pain to you and others. – CNN Health

Oftentimes, it’s highly likely that when you reveal all of yourself to someone, or in certain contexts, that will not turn out well:

It’s important for people to be comfortable and confident with all parts of themselves, McDonald says. But there are situations where revealing part of your identity would do more harm than good.  “It can be unhealthy to reveal certain parts of ourselves if there are people close to us that would be very unaccepting of it, because of the pain and the separation that that would cause to reveal that,” McDonald said.

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Keeping a secret, dear reader, assumes that you have the teller’s trust and confidence; he or she has faith in your self-control and relies on that to unburden themselves, while also not putting themselves at risk of a full reveal for the whole world to know.

Assuming that basic level of self-control is in place, there are a few guidelines to keeping such a secret.

The best way, dear reader, to keep a secret, is to pretend that you have no knowledge of it, that is complete ignorance.  The reason why this is the best method, is that it is very plausible and believable.  There was a point when you didn’t know whatever the secret is, and when you tell someone that you are ignorant, there really is not much that they can do past that point.  All pressure to tell what you know disappears – after all, you can’t possibly tell someone something you don’t even know yourself.  Most people simply drop the subject if this seems to be the case.  There’s far less likelihood that you’ll cave under pressure if there’s no pressure, dear reader (:

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“If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.” – George Orwell

“The best way of keeping a secret is to pretend there isn’t one.” – Margaret Atwood

“We women talk too much, but even then we don’t tell half of what we know.”

The next best method is to transfer the emotions of the situation or generalize to tell a story that is also true, but not the secret.

At last resort, tell a white lie.  That is, come up with something else that could be the secret.  However, this is a last resort, because most people are only moderately skilled at this.  It is easy for most people to suspect when they have been either misinformed or at least haven’t been told the entire story, and if they suspect this is the case they will in all likelihood want to press for more information.

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A woman doesn’t compete

A woman, dear reader, does not compete with her fellow women, and she does not compete with a man either.

She doesn’t have to.

“Because she competes with no one, no one can compete with her.”

If there is any sort of “competition” going on, it is against herself and herself alone.


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She is always trying to  be better, but a better version of herself.  She is trying to be a better woman, daughter, wife, mother, friend, etc. than she was yesterday.  She is so busy working towards her own goals and dreams that she has no time for petty squabbles with others.

Instead, she is a woman with purpose and vision.

She has figured out what truly matters to her and her life, and she’s devoted herself to that, whatever it may be.


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Such a woman, dear reader, is unfortunately very rare.  It is very easy to get caught up in others’ affairs, especially if your own goals seem far-fetched or to require a lot of hard effort to achieve.

“A woman is likely to mind her own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, she takes her mind off her own meaningless affairs by minding other people’s business.”

This is the regrettable truth, dear reader.

It is only a woman who does not feel that her own activities and her own life are fulfilling and interesting and captivate all of her creative energies that she must turn her focus and attention to another.

The woman who is completely and totally engrossed in her own life, on the other hand, is often wildly envied for precisely this reason.  Others wish to compete with her because they intuitively understand that she has “it” – that it that they so desperately want themselves – a rich a fulfilling life.


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However, focusing attention away from one’s own affairs to “compete” or even envy/admire another woman will never help, dear reader.  It only serves to increase the awe of the woman in question.

If you wish to work towards being such a woman, dear reader, you may begin by pretending to be her – even if you truly are not yet engrossed with your own concerns and follow the news of every passing trend, you will soon seem to have it and will find that this tends to have a reinforcing behavior (:


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How to get rid of any insecurity

Many women, dear reader, are unfortunately plagued with dozens of insecurities.

And even worse than the negative emotions these insecurities cause, they too often hold women back from living their lives fully and achieving their potential as great and high-value women.




The problem with insecurities, dear reader, is that they are rooted in a sense of shame.

And this shame is what must be overcome.

It is often so deeply ingrained, however, that it seems nearly impossible.

No matter the insecurity, whether it be a physical defect, being overweight, or some other “flaw” what first must be done, dear reader, is that you must give yourself permission to feel the way you do about it.

A level of acceptance must be reached.  Whatever the subject of the insecurity, in order to let go of it and truly overcome it, you must first come to the point where you step outside of yourself to view it, and have a reaction that is best approximated by the phrase “so what.” (:


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No flaw or perceived one, dear reader, is worth putting yourself down over and definitely is not worth putting your life on hold for, in any way.

And no circumstance or flaw is all your own fault. Sure, some of it (or maybe a large part of it) was due to your own actions and choices or patterns of behavior, but a part of it was created by external factors that were out of your control.

Once you understand the truth of this, you stop blaming yourself – you forgive yourself and by doing so take back your own power.

This isn’t to say that you need to celebrate or display to the world proudly your defects and faults, dear reader.  Unhealthy conditions, shame, and unhappiness are not matters for commemoration.


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After you have stopped blaming yourself, you are free to take positive action to either correct the insecurity or to embrace it if you can’t do anything about it.

Once you are taking action and have given yourself permission to feel as you do, no one will be able to use your insecurities against you, dear reader.

In fact, you will learn in time, that that is the entire basis of most insecurities; and anyone who criticizes you or attempts to make you feel bad about some aspect of yourself, dear reader, is likely only attempting to steal your power from you.  They do it because it is so effective, so much of the time.


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Once you realize this, though, you will see it for what it is and understand that even if any criticism does have any basis in reality, most detractors do not truly care about your “flaws” – they simply want to throw you off-balance in order to feel empowered themselves.

There are many ways to counter such criticism, dear reader.  Most effective, is to simply ask and understand where your critic is coming from. Often they are attacking you or subtly belittling you because their is a deeper issue of their own that needs addressing.  However, this is not always the case, and when that’s true the best defense is a well-bred and cultured indifference which will undoubtedly infuriate them (:


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