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The Art of Transparent, Effective, Communication

The feminine woman of excellence, dear reader, has mastered the art of communication.  She doesn’t internalize and repress her feelings nor does she act out aggressively and angrily.

 

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The key to great communication is that you mustn’t be afraid to speak your truth, and to do it right away.  There is nothing to be ashamed about if someone does something hurtful to you.  Many women are afraid to speak up because they take such treatment personally and allow it to eat away at their self-confidence when more often than not it has absolutely nothing to do with them.  Sometimes, someone will treat you poorly because they truly and simply don’t care about how you feel, but most of the time the other person doesn’t even realize that what they were doing was hurtful and assumes that you aren’t bothered in the slightest!  Again, they magnify the meaning of the event and the consequences and this makes them too frozen and uncomfortable to act.  Either way, remaining silent sends the wrong message.

Because they attach so much significance to it, many women find themselves tongue-tied.  So then they never communicate that they were hurt, disappointed, angry, etc – or if they do, they won’t be able to do it in a mature and assertive way that the other person will actually pay attention to – and they end up being ignored and virtually guarantee that the offensive behavior will become a pattern.

 

Beautiful Shabby Chic Dresser -- I found one of these in an antique store and it is truly gorgeous!:

 

A crucial mistake many women make is that they wait far, far too long for the pattern to manifest before speaking up.  Small issues snowball into crucial battles of will.

“The first piece of advice I would have from my experience is that governments need to be vocal about human rights.  My advice to you is not only to be vocal and consistent, but also to be principled in communications about human rights.  Another suggestion I have is to be quick.”  – Amal Clooney

One of the reasons why Amal is able to maintain such a strong relationship with a man like George Clooney where so many other women have failed is undoubtedly because she fully understands this principle on an intuitive, not just intellectual, level and has the courage to put it into practice.  Most men, even those at George Clooney’s level, are used to women communicating and behaving in ways that they term to be “annoying,” “passive-aggressive,” or “nagging”, and this really does have the effect of pushing them away in a relationship.  Men don’t want a shy little girl who is a pushover and can’t speak up for herself, but they don’t want a “bitch” who rages at them either.  Open, clear, and authentic communication that shows a woman knows what she wants and will stand up for it is what will get her results.

 

this is like me when getting ready for a night out- no vodka just yet, but a cup of tea would do nicely, thank you!:

 

Another important point, as she says here, in politics, as well as in human relations it is also important to be consistent.

It’s going to be hard to get yourself taken seriously if you are constantly vacillating on what is and what is not okay.  Credibility is built by “sticking to your guns” and being honest and authentic about the way something makes you feel.  This doesn’t mean that you are never allowed to change your mind about key issues, but you must appear and be firm.

 

 

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Designer Spotlight: Yves St. Laurent

Yves Saint Laurent (YSL), now Saint Laurent Paris, dear reader, is one of the greatest names and designers in fashion.

 

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Founded by a man named Yves Henri Donat Mathieu-Saint-Laurent in 1961, the luxury label is known for it’s high-quality pieces that range from the woman’s tuxedo to men’s and women’s ready-to-wear.

With a revenue of just over $1.2 billion, the French fashion house is a force to be reckoned with, as was the man (d. 2008), who was talented enough to become the head designer of Dior at the impressive age of 21.

Coats

The pieces are smart, stylish, and eternally sophisticated, making them beautiful additions to any woman’s closet.

The quality is unparalleled and the design reaches just the right balance of classic restraint and modern freedom with an overall effect of empowering the feminine.

“Today everyone is talking about gender. Yves decided to pass the power from the men’s shoulders to the women’s,” he revealed. “We never interfered with each other, I never went to his studio. I decided to respect the creation before the business.” – Pierre Bergé, Yves St. Laurent Business Partner

 

White stilettos with gold heels and matching clutch for Yves St. Laurent #FCM #Glamorous #YSL:

 

Saint Laurent hypnotized with his imaginative creations. An exacting sense of color, cut, exoticism and androgyny were his signatures, as was the infamously fragile constitution that led him to retreat from the fashion world altogether in his final years. Yet his influence remains strong—current designers such as Marc Jacobs, Miuccia Prada and Jean Paul Gaultier frequently reference Saint Laurent’s work in their own collections. Over the course of his 40-plus-year career, Saint Laurent regularly produced a legacy of instant classics (the trapeze dress, the safari jacket, the Mondrian shift and the eternally iconic le smoking) not to mention the concept of ready-to-wear, which he launched in 1966 with his Rive Gauche collection. Then there are those initials, three letters—YSL—that will forever be associated with the pinnacle of French chic.

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” – Yves St. Laurent

“Over the years, I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who wears it.” – Yves St. Laurent

“We must never confuse elegance with snobbery.” – Yves St. Laurent

“Isn’t elegance forgetting what one is wearing?” – Yves St. Laurent

Gorgeous color combination from Yves Saint Laurent.:

 

 

Blazer Jacket

 

 

 

Yves Saint Laurent ~  Lip and Shadow  Colors:

 

Subdued neutral outfit perfect for pairing with that Saint Laurent handbag. #bloggers #outfit #bags:

 

#street #style pink pink black black Yves Saint Lauret @wachabuy:

 

 

Perfume

Perfume, dear reader, has the power to transform (:

It turns the dull and every-day into the fascinating and charming.

 

25 Best Perfumes  Scent can be a very personal thing -- what makes one person feel like a goddess can make another gag -- but some fragrances are (almost) universally loved. From designer perfume brands like Chanel and Dior to more discount fragrances by Aveda and Mary Kay, see which top beauty products our readers love most.:

 

A woman, dear reader, is often known by the perfume she wears; it is a signature.

“It creates a shimmering invisible armor that lingers in a room long after its wearer has gone and infuses our imagination with a subtle power, hinting at a hidden identity.”

What is perhaps so appealing about a woman’s perfume, dear reader, is its subtlety.

It is enough to notice and become aware of, but it stops there; unlike perhaps some other accessories, it is designed to attract attention to the woman wearing it, not to the object itself.

It is therefore important to select the right scent, both for one-self and for the occasion.

It is worth it to visit a high-end perfume retailer and spend some time carefully going through the various products, testing them to determine which is the best fit for you.

 

A snoozy vase gets an elegant makeover when you print out a sticker that makes it look like a perfume bottle. Can't make stickers in your printer? Draw a label on a piece of heavy paper and use glass glue.:

 

Remember, dear reader, that nowhere is the maxim “quality over quantity” more true than in the search for one’s perfume.

Several bottles of well-chosen perfume may last a woman years (:

Hastily choosing the wrong ones, though, will likely result in a purchase that goes unused, rarely used, or must be thrown out.

It is worth stressing, dear reader, that it absolutely does not pay to be cheap when shopping for a perfume.

Perfumes can be anywhere from light, flirty, and playful to deep, moody, and dramatic.

They are often categorized by flavor as either citrus, sweet or fruity, floral, woodsy, oriental, spicy, and fresh, but there are also different forms of the product that you should be familiar with as well (taken from perfume.com):

 

Beautiful perfume bottle:

 

Parfum

Parfum, also known as extrait de parfum or pure perfume, has the highest fragrance concentration. Parfum will contain anywhere from 15% to 40% fragrance however concentration is generally between 20% to 30% for most parfums. Of all scents, parfums last the longest; usually six to eight hours. Parfum generally also commands the highest price of all the fragrance types due to the high concentration of fragrance. People with sensitive skin may do better with parfums as they have far less alcohol than other fragrance types and therefore are not as likely to dry out the skin.

Eau de Parfum

After parfum, eau de parfum (EDP) has the next highest concentration of fragrance. Eau de parfum generally has a fragrance concentration of between 15% and 20%. On average, eau de parfum will last for four to five hours. It is also generally less expensive that parfum and while it does have a higher concentration of alcohol than parfum, it is better for sensitive skin than other fragrance types. Eau de parfum is one of the most common fragrance types and is suitable for everyday wear.

 

How to make your perfume last—on your skin and on the shelf:

 

Eau de Toilette

Eau de toilette (EDT) has a fragrance concentration of between 5% and 15%. It is cheaper than eau de parfum and is one of the most popular types of fragrance available. EDT fragrance will normally last for two to three hours. Eau de toilette is considered by some to be for daywear while eau de parfum is considered nightwear. The term eau de toilette came from the French term “faire sa toilette” which means getting ready.

Eau de Cologne

Eau de cologne, or EDC, has a much lower concentration of fragrance than the above types of perfume. EDC generally has a 2% to 4% percent concentration of fragrance and a high concentration of alcohol. It is cheaper than other types of fragrance however the scent generally only lasts for up to two hours. EDC generally comes in bigger bottles and more of the fragrance needs to be used. Originally eau de cologne referred to a traditional recipe that used herb and citrus notes with little anchoring with base notes.

 

drew barrymore fragrance | Drew Barrymore Adds Fragrances To Flower Beauty Collection Making Us ...does it smell nice?  hopefully not overpowering --  can't imagine it is knowing her disposition!:

 

Eau Fraiche

Eau fraiche is similar to eau de cologne in that the scent will generally last for up to two hours. Eau fraiche has an even lower concentration of fragrance than eau de cologne, normally only 1% to 3%. While eau fraiche has a low fragrance concentration, it does not contain a high amount of alcohol. Along with the fragrance, the remainder of eau fraiche is mostly water.

 

“A woman who doesn’t wear perfume has no future.” – Coco Chanel

 

Happy perfume shopping (:

 

 

black&white:

The limits of “honesty”

Many people, dear reader, use the excuse of honesty or “just telling the truth” as justification for poor etiquette and poor manners.

 

Visit the post for more.:

 

For example, it is under no circumstances appropriate to tell someone that he or she is need of losing a few pounds (unless you are a doctor speaking to your patient, and even then it should be done with tact) no matter how true that might be.  

Other ill-advised personal opinions and comments are better kept to one-self in 99% of cases, rather than sharing (or blurting out) unwisely just because it happens to be true.

The truth, dear reader, is a power tool, but it must be used judiciously.  There is a time and a place for its release and it is wisdom and maturity that tells you when it is appropriate – that is, when it will do more good than it will cause damage.

 

this would be a cool office..or woman's cave...I love the sexiness and moodiness of the room:

 

Another aspect of this issue is that of “appearances” versus the “unvarnished truth”.

Many advocate that no attempt should be made to “keep up appearances.”  While if something is truly the matter, we should never pretend it doesn’t exist or not take action to fix it, that doesn’t mean that we have to put unpleasant realities of life on display, or to tell everyone our personal business either.

“A deception that elevates us is dearer than a host of low truths.”

 

Parisian Cafe - look at the fashionable clothing they wear - just impeccable! #lifeinahandbag:

Secrets of the French Woman

The French woman, dear reader, has been the object of allure and mystique to women worldwide.

Elegant white sandals - Shoes and beauty:

Numerous books have been written on the topic, including What French Women KnowFrench Women Don’t Get FatAll You Need to Know to Be Impossibly French, and countless others.

So where does this fame come from?

The French woman has nearly perfected the art of femininity, dear reader.

The French woman is the quintessential feminine.

 

“One is not born a woman, one becomes one.” – Simone de Beauvoir

The French woman has a devil-may care attitude, a cool confidence bordering on arrogance and vanity.

Parisian Chic Street Style - Dress Like A French Woman (2):

She is not dressing or living to please others – she lives in the moment and does what fulfills her own feminine nature.

There is even a term that has been developed to attempt to describe this unique way of being, dear reader, and that is je ne sais quoi.

Je ne sais quoi is something that is rather recognized upon encounter with it than an easily defined or capturable quality.

The French woman has this as a result of the combination of her ease of demeanor, confidence, femininity and mystique, and carefully crafted style and elegance.

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A French woman harbors no illusions about her beauty. She celebrates her imperfections as iconic assets: the gap in Vanessa Paradis’ teeth, the delicate crow’s feet around Isabelle Huppert’s eyes, Charlotte Gainsbourg’s prominent jaw line. From adolescence to old age, her beauty is understated, yet dynamic, sexy yet unpredictable. Most importantly though, a French woman never takes her beauty for granted. It is tended and maintained, hydrated and coddled, but, above all, it’s enjoyed. A French woman revels in her beauty and relishes her seductiveness, which is, in France, both ageless and priceless.

The French woman, dear reader, is natural flirtatious, as seduction is an undercurrent and crucial element of French culture in general.

She is comfortable receiving compliments about her beauty, dear reader.

If she is beautiful, she does not pretend that she is not or affect modesty.

Rather, she graciously accepts all compliments with a polite “thank you.”  This is an area in which American women would do well to emulate their French counterparts, as many do not seem to understand how rude it is to reject such compliments.

Parisian Chic Street Style - Dress Like A French Woman (31):

And… being attractive often gives women a serious advantage over men. So we flirt. The things you can get with a large smile… amazing! In my opinion, to some extent, every woman does it. But French women are not afraid to admit it. They are not ashamed of using their charm to manipulate men.

The biggest difference that sets French women apart dear reader, is not their hair styles or clothing choices, but their lack of fear.  French women are not afraid to be feminine.  They embrace it in all of it’s intricacies.

When one Parisian girlfriend caught her husband answering a work text at the dinner table, she threw his iPhone out of their fourth floor apartment window onto the Boulevard Saint Michel. Far from scaring men off with their carefully honed Betty Blue style volatility, French women only succeed in reeling them in closer.

Easy and timeless. Ines always looks chic.

French women succeed in getting what they want without becoming harsh or stressed.  They choose to use indirect means, influence, and subtlety instead, and, dear reader, this is often much more effective.  

In Paris, a French woman would just look at the man in a way that says: “How could you?” if a man wanted to get ahead of them. And that’s more effective than a kick in the groin. French women don’t have to prove it in public. They know they’re gonna win with charm.

A French woman, on average, is also better at practicing moderation.  She doesn’t over~eat, over~accessorize, or otherwise over~do things.

She does not feel pressured to change herself to fit some set of expectations or trends; she is comfortable going at her own pace and doing what is best for her.

Femininity at the Office

No matter if you work in a masculine-dominated corporate environment, or a more traditionally feminine one, it is to your advantage, dear reader, to play up your womanly attributes.

Red and black outfit!:

A woman who dresses modestly but stylishly and is not afraid to display her femininity will be more respected by her coworkers, male and female, and in all likelihood will be happier and better paid.

Unfortunately, many women see their gender and sexuality as something they need to hide, mask, or sabotage in order to advance themselves at work and in their careers.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  It is worth stating, however, that there is an appropriate and classy way to demonstrate femininity; a woman should never violate her company dress code and revealing too much or being overtly sexual is simply tasteless under any circumstance.

A woman will perform her best at work when she is both comfortably dressed and is allowed to express herself as a woman through her dress.  Looking and acting like a man is unnatural for any women and will result in immediate and obvious health issues that her body will display even if she herself chooses to deny that fact.

Red pin skirt for work:

A woman is most relaxed, calm, and in control of herself and her surroundings when she accepts herself as a female, dresses accordingly in a way that makes her feel beautiful, and doesn’t fear or shirk from her natural feminine power.

First and foremost, a women should always look neat and clean.  Clothing should fit well and nothing should clash or look out of place.  She should also make sure that she is always well-groomed, taking meticulous care of her personal hygiene, dental health, hair, and make-up.  A woman should take the time needed in the morning to look her best – this means waking up on time and going to sleep early enough so that she looks rested and refreshed and can face the day with a positive attitude.

Too many women neglect their personal well-being, appearance, and health and go to work looking and feeling tired and rushed.  It may seem selfish to put your needs above those of your husband, children, and family, but remember dear reader, that if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else.  There is a reason why airline passengers are instructed to first put on their own facemasks, and then assist children in the event of an emergency – it is more efficient and will save lives.  Likewise, when you are feeling and looking your best, you have the most to offer others, whether it be at home or at the office.

The Classy Cubicle: Plaid on Plaid. The fashion blog for professional women in need of office style inspiration and work wear ideas for the corporate world and beyond. {zara, tory burch, prada, plaid zipper top, cape jacket, navy pants, spectator burgundy pumps, fall fashion}:

Pearls – Part One

Pearls, dear reader, are the ultimate feminine accessory.

Actually a good idea. How to reuse your wedding dress!

This is because they are the one article of jewelry that is worn exclusively by women.

And best of all, dear, reader, pearls are appropriate at all times, from day wear to office wear, to more formal situations or evenings out.

“Pearls are always appropriate. ” – Jackie Kennedy

“A woman needs ropes and ropes of pearls” – Coco Chanel

Pearls are a symbol of wisdom through experience, and at the same time of innocence and purity.  The also are associated with wealth, beauty, and elegance.

The dictionary defines them a pearl as “one that is highly regarded for its beauty or value.”

street style own the night black dress @wachabuy

Formed from a secretion in response to an irritant under an oyster’s shell, pearls are found deep in the sea, rather than far underground within the earth like other gemstones.

Because of their uniqueness, pearls have been prized and admired for centuries, dating as far back as ancient Greece.

Legend has it that Egyptian empress Cleopatra dissolved a pearl in a glass of vinegar and drank it in one motion in order to prove her wealth and power to her lover Mark Anthony.

Prominent icons since, including Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe, and many others, have also worn them and incorporated their symbolism into their image.

love the gloves and pearls....and the one and only Liz Taylor !

Interestingly, pearls have also been referenced by many religions across the world.

The Bible cites them in the context of their beauty and value in many instances, as does the Quran:

“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.” – Matthew 7:6

“Gardens of Eternity will they enter: therein will they be adorned with bracelets of gold and pearls; and their garments there will be of silk.” 35:33

When shopping for pearls, dear reader, keep an eye out for quality as well.  Pearls are judged based on the size, smoothness, shape, and brightness of the stone – the rounder, larger, smoother and brighter the pearls are the better.

De joven, aprendí a seducir con mi cuerpo. Ahora... te seduzco con la mente!!!    La Princesa de Hielo