Tag Archive | career woman

Feminine Insight

You may have heard of the term feminine intuition, but the feminine woman of excellence has feminine insight as well dear reader.




Insight is defined as the understanding of a specific cause and effect, in context or the apprehending of the true nature of a thing, especially through intuitive understanding.

Feminine insight is the gift or ability that a feminine woman of excellence has in identify a situation for what it is (or Seeing Things As They Are) and responding appropriately.  The feminine woman is also insightful, meaning that she is perceptive.  She reflects often and understands the interconnectedness of all of life.


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The advantage of having insight is that the feminine woman of excellence spots patterns more quickly and instantly read any situation, be it an interpersonal conflict, a relationship issue, or even a workplace problem she’s been tasked to solve.

“People in a better mood are more likely to solve problems by insight.”

“Research has shown sleep to help produce insight.”


She takes care of herself and her body first and foremost, with right diet, nutrition, exercise, and sleep.


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This can sometimes be easier said than done, however.  Proper self-care truly requires management of all aspects of one’s life and will be covered separately. (:


Serving vs. Being Servile

There is nothing wrong, dear reader, with being of service to others.  In fact, you will not succeed in life if that isn’t your mentality, or you don’t know how to serve.

However, there is an equally fatal counter to that and that is being servile.

In colloquial terms, that is what we mean when we say someone is a “doormat” or a “pushover.”

Oftentimes, these two concepts will get confused and many well-intentioned women who are trying to be of service will end up being disrespected, looked down upon, and even used because they end up being servile instead.

“It’s easy to think that people will like you more if you do whatever they tell you to do, but it’s quite the opposite. People don’t appreciate pushovers – they use them.”


To be of service means that you have matured to the point where you understand that it is not all about you; this is what is meant by that phrase “the world doesn’t revolve around you.”  It means that you get that other people come from different perspectives and viewpoints, and that what is most important to you personally is going to be different from what matters to someone else.




For example, if you were planning on going out together, but your significant other has an important meeting or exam the following day, you are mature enough to respect that and not take it personally.

It also means that you use your talents, gifts, and abilities to lift others up.  In your career, that may mean you serve your clients by providing the most timely and quality service that you are capable of.  It may mean that you make sure things run smoothly in your office and that those with whom you work can say that you make their jobs that much easier.

Being servile on the other hand, will get you no appreciation or respect, and it will only drain your own energy and feelings of self-worth.  This is a quick indication for yourself – if you feel good about the contributions you are making, you are in the realm of service; if you feel resentment, you are in the realm of servitude.  


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An example of what servitude may look like:

You have told your significant other many times that you’d like help around the house; on a day when you are particularly tired from other commitments, you continue to contribute more than your “fair share” and don’t ask for what you need.

You have previous family or other obligations to meet, but you agree to put those on a lower priority when your boss asks you to stay late.


There is a remarkable difference. Service is next to godliness. Service requires respect, attention, devotion. Servers give aid or assistance, cooperatively, to someone in need, such as a guest. Those in service are subordinate only in the sense that servers watch over and preserve the activities that need to be directed by careful attention.

Servitude is completely at the other end of the spectrum, when the ego is under the thralldom of another against the will. Servitude is more akin to slavery or bondage. This distinction between service and servitude is elemental to the essence of hospitality and understanding the difference is key to successful service delivery.


Compartmentalization, dear reader, is the ability to mentally and emotionally separate different aspects of your life, so that you may better focus and perform at whatever task is before you.

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A classic example is the ability to compartmentalize work and school separately from say, a personal relationship.  It’s the ability not to let issues in one area transfer into the other area and affect it.

For example, say a woman’s relationship or marriage has being going through a difficult time; practicing compartmentalization is what allows her to temporarily forget about those issues when she is at work – when she knows her full attention needs to be present or else her performance will suffer.

She isn’t dismissing her issues, dear reader, she is simply setting them aside so that she can deal with them at a time or place that is more conducive to solving them.  Compartmentalization can be a good thing, as long as it isn’t taken too far and used to facilitate denial.  For instance, calling her husband during work hours to try to resolve issues will almost certainly not get her the results she wants.  She’ll need to pull her attention away from her work, revisit all the negative emotions and difficulties facing her in her relationship, and then need to quickly shut all of this down again to focus back on her work.  Almost every person would be affected and upset by this, and carry some of that emotion over.


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Compartmentalization, however, allows ordinary people to do this.

It’s easier to keep emotions and issues constrained into boxes, if they are each dealt with separately, on a case-by-case basis, and one prepares herself beforehand emotionally and mentally to be what she needs to be in that situation.

In other words, the person she is required to be at work is usually quite different from the person a woman is required to be in her relationship.  Compartmentalization allows her to be both of these people.


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The tactic is a good one for other reasons as well.  It is good to have many different areas of your life, dear reader, that can bring you happiness.

It’s a crazy morning at home, and your spouse is furious at you. Harried, you slam the car door shut and race off to work where an important task awaits.  Your ability to tune out the situation at home and focus on the job at hand is facilitated by your emotional understanding. It’s a form of emotional intelligence, according to Jeremy Yip, a lecturer and research scholar at Wharton. Compartmentalizing enables a person to identify what is stressing them out and to allow other, unrelated factors in their life to stand on their own merits, Yip says.

A woman who only has a career, to the exclusion of a romantic or social life, or other outside interests runs a much greater risk of unhappiness.  If something goes wrong in her life, she has only one box, so to speak.  The same applies for the woman who has a romantic life, but not much else outside of that.

It is smart, dear reader, to spread the risk so to speak in many different and fulfilling areas.


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A Formidable Woman

A formidable woman, dear reader, is one who knows what she wants and is not afraid to go after it.

She is a woman who is fierce, brave, strong, and yet at the same time feminine and a woman.


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“I am a woman above everything else.” – Jackie Kennedy

The formidable woman may not be universally liked, dear reader, but she is universally respected.

When she speaks, people listen.  When she acts, they pay attention.

She is what is called a significant woman, dear reader.

Her actions and her words matter – she has made sure to that.

Most great men will want a formidable woman by their side, and all formidable women, dear reader have in common an inner strength that never fails to attract such men to them.


Turmoil in the middle east is at least as old as Cleopatra, a cunning vixen who presided over a vast grain producing empire.


To be loved by a man is one thing, dear reader, but to earn his respect, one must also be formidable.

Being formidable in a relationship or a marriage means standing up for and acting from one’s beliefs and values, regardless of circumstances or strong and swaying emotions.

This is not easy to do, which is why such women are so rare.

The formidable woman does not chase after a man, she simply gives him a green or red light indicating what he should do, then lets him act on his own time – she is strong enough to deal with the consequences of either decision he makes, and she is strong enough to wait if that’s what she must do.

She does not change her values or her views to suit his.  She has a mind of her own and is not afraid to use it to make her own life choices and decisions.  She seeks input and advice from others when necessary, but she never allows anyone to do this for her.


Elizabeth Taylor


The formidable woman does not crumble in a crisis or a difficult situation.  She stands with her head held high, assesses things calmly, and does what needs to be done, however unpleasant that may be.

Most of all, dear reader, the formidable woman has a purpose greater than herself in life.  She seeks to make a difference in the world, and she works towards that every day.


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First Impressions: Why They Matter and How to Make a Good One

First impressions, dear reader, are far more important to the outcome of a woman’s life than she may imagine.

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Unfortunately, those split-second judgements are often all a person has to go on, and most decisions that affect a woman will be based on the way she presents herself, or what she appears to be at first glance, even when it’s not totally accurate.

It takes just a quick glance, maybe three seconds, for someone to evaluate you when you meet for the first time. In this short time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanor, your mannerisms, and how you are dressed.

What this means, dear reader, is that once a first impression is made, it’s done and there’s not much likelihood of changing that opinion.  Therefore, it is in your interest to put in the effort to make sure that you come across positively in that first encounter – in fact, it can even be used to your advantage, as you can make those instantaneous judgements stick.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past five years of working as a journalist it’s that success can come down to the two seconds after you first meet someone.

First impressions tend to be self-reinforcing beliefs; once formed, a person will unconsciously look for evidence that confirms that initial survey and tend to dismiss observations that contradict it, rather than forming an entirely new mental model of what you are like.


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For instance, the woman who looks frumpy and disheveled at her first interview will always look frumpy and disheveled to those who first met her on that day, and the woman who is dressed classily, smart, and sharp will tend to come across that way in the future as well.

The great thing about first impressions, dear reader, is that while they may not be fair or even true, they are completely under your control.

First impressions can make or break your career.

We turn people into an embodiment of the few facts we know about them.

We believe what we first see because it’s the easiest option — even if it ends up being false.

If your first impression is off, no amount of charm will help you to recover.


Something about Nothing:


When making a first impression, a woman needs to make sure that she appears:

  • well dressed – that means neat, tidy, classy, stylish and well-groomed with good hygiene (think about it – it is going to be nearly impossible to make a good first impression if you reek of body odor or you are in a state of disarray).
  • warm, friendly
  • positive
  • calm, at ease, relaxed
  • confident
  • firm handshake
  • good eye contact
  • etc.

Of course, dear reader, dressing well is stressed because once a woman is dressed her best, the following items (relaxation, confidence, etc.) become much easier to accomplish and are natural byproducts (:


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How To Craft a Cover Letter

As a feminine woman of excellence, dear reader, you will at some point be required to either write or read a cover letter.  It is a very formulaic writing form, and you should be familiar with its main components, format, and structure.

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The cover letter is a one-page introduction that demonstrates interest in a particular position or company and lets an employer know who you are and what you have to offer them.  It is sent with a resume, and at its basic level, is a request for an interview.

While it is about the writer’s qualifications and interest, it should be tailored to the company or employing agent.  At a very minimum, the author should show evidence of having thoroughly reviewed the company website.  Lack of research and preparation, dear reader, will be immediately obvious to the experienced manager, and will demonstrate that the potential employee is not fully committed to the cause, or worse, is hasty, cursory, or thoughtless in nature.

Above all, the cover letter must be free of grammar, spelling, or stylistic errors.  The letter should never be rushed, and should be edited or proof-read several times.

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The cover letter begins with the job-seeker’s address and contact information in the upper right, followed by that of the person to whom she is writing on the left.  Next is an appropriate greeting to that person.  Generic openings, such as “to whom it may concern,” “dear sir or madam,” or “dear manager” are to be avoided at all costs.  It is far better to identify a specific person; this demonstrates sincere interest and how you value and respect others.

The opening paragraph then goes on to explain the applicant’s credentials, who she is, and what type of position she is looking for.  She states what position, field, or area she is most interested in, and where and/or from whom she found out about the opening or the company.

As she gets into the body of the letter, she briefly states her qualifications and skills, and begins with what is called a value-proposition statement.  A value-proposition statement, dear reader, as it is applied in sales and marketing, is a short statement meant to convince a customer why a product or service will be worth his or her while.  In the cover letter, that good or service is the applicant’s skills and talents, and the customer is the employer or hiring manager.  It is the applicant’s job to sum up what she brings to the table, so to speak, in a few words, making it clear why she should be hired.  In business, this means delineating how she will make her employer more profitable, either by saving or earning them more money.

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A value-proposition statement might be something like this: “At Parson’s Consulting, my strong analytical skills, combined with my ability to learn and then apply new skills quickly to solve problems will be valuable assets.”

She wants to be specific, stating what problems she can facilitate or solve, giving any quantitative benchmarks that would give an indication of how well she can solve those issues, and why she is a better choice than other applicants.  Vague terms and meaningless or trite jargon such as “excellent team player” are to be avoided; if need be, she can bring up these topics later as she is describing examples and past experiences that support the value proposition statement.

After she explains those examples, the writer then states why she is interested in the particular company, work, or location.  She gives convincing and persuasive reasons and then relates any experience she has to the specific position, making a reference to her attached resume.

She concludes the letter by making it clear that she would like an interview, and states how she may be contacted to be informed (generally via email or phone).  It is of utmost importance, dear reader, to avoid being “wishy-washy” or vague in the conclusion.  The aim is to leave no doubt in the employer’s mind that the applicant is worth at the very minimum, further investigation, if not the position itself.

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The letter finally ends with a professional salutation.  When in doubt, “sincerely” or “thank you and kind regards” are fail-safe.

Below are some excellent examples of what a cover letter should look like:


How to Write a Resume

The resume, dear reader, is a summary of a woman’s skills, qualifications, and professional experiences.  It is a brief, at a glance, view of what she might offer to a potential employer.

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The professional woman is versed in its form and uses it to present the best possible version of herself to her associates, clients, and potential employers.

It is typically one-paged, but can be longer if she is very experienced or an advanced professional, in which case she uses what is called a curriculum vitae rather than the resume.

The margins are between 0.5” and 1” and only one font is chosen for the entire document, and the font is sized at between 10 and 12.  The font is not overly florid or distracting, but is quite clear and easy to read.  Cambria, Times New Roman, Helvetica, Ariel, and Geneva are all acceptable choices.

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The first thing to include on the resume, is the name.  It is the largest item on the page, is placed in the top center and can be bolded.  It is followed by the appropriate contact information – mailing address, email, and phone number.

It is of utmost importance that the resume be free of grammar or spelling errors and look neat, showing consistent style throughout.

Next after the name and contact information is a listing of the author’s education and credentials, including any schools attended, degrees earned, and relevant dates of attendance.  For the young professional, the G.P.A. is also listed if above a 3.0 out of 4.0, as well as relevant coursework.

Work experiences are then listed in reverse chronological order, by end date.  The dates and locations of employment are included, followed by bullet points that start with an “action verb” and detail any activities and results.  These are quantified wherever possible.

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Examples of action verbs (taken from To Boldly Go: Practical Career Advice by Peter S. Fiske) include:

  • Administered
  • Analyzed
  • Assigned
  • Chaired
  • Consolidated
  • Contracted
  • Coordinated
  • Delegated
  • Developed
  • Directed
  • Evaluated
  • Executed
  • Organized
  • Oversaw
  • Planned
  • Prioritized
  • Produced
  • Recommended
  • Reorganized
  • Reviewed
  • Scheduled
  • Supervised
  • Addressed
  • Arbitrated
  • Arranged
  • Authored
  • Co-authored
  • Collaborated
  • Corresponded
  • Developed
  • Directed
  • Drafted
  • Enlisted
  • Formulated
  • Influenced
  • Interpreted
  • Lectured
  • Mediated
  • Moderated
  • Negotiated
  • Persuaded
  • Promoted
  • Proposed
  • Publicized
  • Reconciled
  • Recruited
  • Spoke
  • Translated
  • Wrote
  • Clarified
  • Collected
  • Critiqued
  • Diagnosed
  • Evaluated
  • Examined
  • Extracted
  • Identified
  • Inspected
  • Inspired
  • Interpreted
  • Interviewed
  • Investigated
  • Organized
  • Reviewed
  • Summarized
  • Surveyed
  • Systemized
  • Assembled
  • Built
  • Calculated
  • Computed
  • Designed
  • Devised
  • Engineered
  • Fabricated
  • Maintained
  • Operated
  • Pinpointed
  • Programmed
  • Remodeled
  • Repaired
  • Solved
  • Adapted
  • Advised
  • Clarified
  • Coached
  • Communicated
  • Conducted
  • Coordinated
  • Developed
  • Enabled
  • Encouraged
  • Evaluated
  • Explained
  • Facilitated
  • Guided
  • Informed
  • Instructed
  • Lectured
  • Persuaded
  • Set goals
  • Stimulated
  • Taught
  • Trained
  • Administered
  • Allocated
  • Analyzed
  • Appraised
  • Audited
  • Balanced

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  • Budgeted
  • Calculated
  • Computed
  • Developed
  • Managed
  • Planned
  • Projected
  • Researched
  • Acted
  • Conceptualized
  • Created
  • Customized
  • Established
  • Fashioned
  • Illustrated
  • Instituted
  • Integrated
  • Performed
  • Planned
  • Proved
  • Revised
  • Revitalized
  • Set up
  • Shaped
  • Streamlined
  • Structured
  • Tabulated
  • Validated
  • Assessed
  • Assisted
  • Clarified
  • Coached
  • Counseled
  • Demonstrated
  • Diagnosed
  • Educated
  • Facilitated
  • Familiarized
  • Guided
  • Inspired
  • Motivated
  • Participated
  • Provided
  • Referred
  • Rehabilitated
  • Reinforced
  • Represented
  • Supported
  • Taught
  • Trained
  • Verified
  • Approved
  • Arranged
  • Catalogued
  • Classified
  • Collected
  • Compiled
  • Dispatched
  • Filed
  • Generated
  • Implemented
  • Inspected
  • Monitored
  • Operated
  • Ordered
  • Organized
  • Prepared
  • Processed
  • Purchased
  • Recorded
  • Retrieved
  • Screened
  • Specified
  • Accelerated
  • Achieved
  • Attained
  • Completed
  • Conceived
  • Convinced
  • Discovered
  • Doubled
  • Effected
  • Eliminated
  • Expanded
  • Expedited
  • Founded
  • Improved
  • Increased
  • Initiated
  • Innovated
  • Introduced
  • Invented
  • Launched
  • Mastered
  • Originated
  • Overcame
  • Overhauled
  • Pioneered
  • Reduced
  • Resolved
  • Revitalized
  • Spearheaded
  • Strengthened
  • Transformed
  • Upgraded

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Finally, skills and leadership experiences are included for the young professional, and optional for the more experienced professional.

The resume, when sent electronically, is always distributed as a .pdf file and is titled as the woman’s last name, for example: Smith.pdf.