A big mistake, dear reader, that many women (and men, for that matter) make in their lives, is that they waste copious amounts of time and energy in fighting battles that they can’t win, either because they haven’t really prepared themselves properly to win, or because what they are in is simply a no-win situation.
“He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.” – Sun Tzu
“Thus it is in war the victorious strategist only seeks battle after the victory has been won, whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights and afterwards looks for victory.” – Sun Tzu
“Move not unless you see an advantage; use not your troops unless there is something to be gained; fight not unless the position is critical.” – Sun Tzu
This is what is meant when it is said to go after realistic goals. It doesn’t mean to dull down your ultimate vision and to settle, but in order to get to that ultimate finish line you can’t waste too much time in situations where you are guaranteed not to win.
One example is when people tend to over-reach and put themselves in positions for which they are unprepared, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. They simply are not ready. They haven’t done the work, they haven’t trained. It would be like Roger Bannister expecting he could break the 4 minute mile barrier simply sitting on his couch without countless hours on the track and in the gym and rehearsing the act over and over again in his mind. It is of course absurd yet countless women (and men) engage in this sort of thinking all the time.
“Average people seem to have a strategy of ‘Ready, fire, aim!’ In other words, most people fail to do the necessary preparation and planning it takes to succeed. Middle-class performers have a fondness for winging it. Amateur performers are always looking for the easy road, yet appear to be confounded by their lack of success.”
Another way people tend to put themselves in a no-win situation is out of fear – they simply use the situation as an excuse as to why they didn’t go after what they wanted or couldn’t face something difficult – they deplete their energy and capability in distraction.
“For some of us, fighting losing battles is a form of distraction or compulsion, like OCD or an irrational need to check your email and Twitter account every 30 seconds. Others simply don’t know any better.”