Tag Archive | style

Handling Rejection, Becoming a Brand

Many women, dear reader, are generic imitations rather than their own brand.  This is the reason why so many have difficulty handling rejection emotionally, because they are unsure of themselves and who they are, and therefore will take rejection from someone else personally.

 

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The woman who has made herself her own unique brand, however, and has the courage to stand by it, will not have to place so much importance into what another thinks of her – she will be more centered and sure of herself.

“It takes guts to be a brand.  It takes guts to stand for what you believe in, even if it’s not popular.  You can’t be all things to all people if you want to be a brand.”

Women who have not yet developed themselves into a brand are the ones who are out trying too hard to fit into what others deem as cool, what a man wants in a relationship, and are slaves to outside opinion.

Not everyone likes Coca-Cola.  In fact, some despise everything it stands for.  However, because Coca-Cola developed itself into a centralized brand with clear distinctions that make it unmistakably what it is, virtually everyone knows what it is and is not, and it is the reason why it is currently a successful multi-billion dollar company.

 

14 Coco Chanel Quotes Every Woman Should Live By  - HarpersBAZAAR.com:

 

Coca-cola isn’t concerned over the fact that some dislike and won’t buy their product.  That rejection has no power over them and it isn’t taken personally because it is simply a fundamental truth that brands are not designed for universal consumption in the way that something generic is.

Companies, people, and especially women simply cannot be all things to all people and should never try to be!

Many bad relationships, dear reader, are the result of a woman not understanding her brand and standing by it.  Kris Humphries disliked Kim Kardashian’s materialism, extravagance, obsession with makeup, and other qualities that were simply part of who she was as a woman and as a brand.  Not understanding that those qualities were part of her brand and that whoever was going to be her life-partner needed to accept them rather than continuously neg them, she didn’t stand up for those aspects of herself and as a result ended up in an extremely unhappy, destructive, and unhealthy marriage.  This wasn’t some fundamental failing on either of their parts, it was simply a case of a die-hard health nut being forced to partner with McDonalds.

The woman who can turn herself into a brand is the woman who is above the emotional sting of taking rejection, in any form, personally.  Kim didn’t need to sit and beat herself up over the fact that she wasn’t everything Humphries wanted, she went out and found Kanye!  The woman who develops her unique brand and fully embraces it rejects those who reject her.  She doesn’t have to try so hard to be something she’s not, but instead she’s at ease and relaxed.  She has more control over who she is and what she does, and she is firmly in the driver’s seat of her own life and relationships.

 

Enchanting and elegant white closet design with a touch of flowers!:

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Dealing with Non~Constructive Criticism

As a refined and elegant woman of excellence, dear reader, you need to hold yourself to a high standard of behavior.

One area where that will be tested is in how you react and respond to criticism that is sent out with the intent to hurt you, that is, criticism that is not constructive.  You need to understand where this comes from and what the appropriate response is, because your natural instinct is likely to respond in kind, or to internalize it and feel bad about yourself.

 

images via Glamour (Spain).  photos by Bèla Adler and Salvador Fresneda, model Valerie van der Graaf, styling by Miriam Arruga:

 

This was the battle of Jackie Robinson’s life:

Rickey’s voice rose. ‘Suppose I’m a player. . . in the heat of an important ball game.’ He drew back as if to charge at Robinson. ‘Suppose I collide with you at second base. When I get up, I yell, ‘You dirty, black son of a -‘ ‘He finished the castigation and added calmly, ‘What do you do?’

Robinson blinked. He licked his lips and swallowed.

‘Mr. Rickey,’ he murmured, ‘do you want a ballplayer who’s afraid to fight back?’

‘I want a ballplayer with guts enough not to fight back!’ Rickey exclaimed almost savagely. He paced across the floor and returned with finger pointing. ‘You’ve got to do this job with base hits and stolen bases and fielding ground balls, Jackie. Nothing else!’

 

He initially thought as you likely do at this moment, dear reader, that you must “stand up for yourself” and “fight back.”  However, imagine if Robinson had behaved in that way, with his natural instincts.  He would have never made it into the Baseball Hall of Fame, or have broken the “color barrier” to become the legend we still remember him as today.  His energy would have been wasted on such petty issues that truly didn’t matter, instead of being channeled into a direction that changed history.

 

 

Now if could just get my breast to be like this again, oh wait they were never like this, what was I thinking?:

 

 

But there is a better, more intelligent option available to you.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but what you must do is to simply ignore that criticism, and if possible, simply shut it out completely or disallow its access to you in the first place.

Whatever you do, do not show a reaction to it.  True transcendence and imperviousness to this kind of behavior will come when you understand it and can dismiss it as both untrue and irrelevant.  As opposed to constructive criticism, which comes from a place of true concern and love, this comes from a place of hatred and the intent to cause you pain.  At that point, it’s not important whether the criticism is true, has some basis in truth, or is completely false – as long as it achieves the intended result of shutting you down or making you feel less about yourself, it “wins” so to speak.

 

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When you don’t react to it, you deny that desire, and the frustration and negativity that originally motivated the criticism will increase in the source, instead of transferring itself to you.

When you react – either positively or negatively, it doesn’t matter – you give satisfaction and you allow such criticism access to you.  Moreover, when you react, you make yourself appear less mature, and less powerful – you lose some of the respect others have for you, even if they were the ones who tried to get you to respond to their criticism.  When you don’t react, you dismiss such words and emotions as inferior to you, which they truly are.  The person who originated the criticism will feel that and will likely feel even worse because they understand that on a subconscious level.

As a beautiful and loving feminine woman, a woman of power who does important and meaningful work, you can’t afford to take on such negativity – you must learn to respond correctly.

You can usually sense what kind of criticism you are dealing with, dear reader, when you tune into your feminine intuition.  When your mother tells you that she’s concerned about an unhealthy life-style choice you have made, this is likely coming from a place of love, and is constructive criticism.  When an associate puts you down in a belittling way, or tries to humiliate you in front of others, that is non-constructive criticism.

 

#2 Sandra lives in a luxurious society. She does not always like being in this society because she feels out of place. Others at Yale, though, have no problem with living the ritzy life. ♕:

 

What’s important to understand first and foremost is that such non-constructive criticism is never personal.  It is never about you or what it true in your own life.  It is always about the person who is giving it and how he or she feels inside.  This is why internalizing such feedback and criticism will be a mistake and makes you feel so terrible.  When you accept and internalize constructive criticism, on the other hand, it will lead you to make positive changes, and to feel better about yourself.

huge part of leading a healthy lifestyle and taking care of yourself as a high-value, and powerful woman is to close yourself off to such behavior.

Not understanding this, you internalize comments and ideas that prevent you from being the amazing and incredible woman you were meant to be, dear reader (:

Designer Spotlight: Yves St. Laurent

Yves Saint Laurent (YSL), now Saint Laurent Paris, dear reader, is one of the greatest names and designers in fashion.

 

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Founded by a man named Yves Henri Donat Mathieu-Saint-Laurent in 1961, the luxury label is known for it’s high-quality pieces that range from the woman’s tuxedo to men’s and women’s ready-to-wear.

With a revenue of just over $1.2 billion, the French fashion house is a force to be reckoned with, as was the man (d. 2008), who was talented enough to become the head designer of Dior at the impressive age of 21.

Coats

The pieces are smart, stylish, and eternally sophisticated, making them beautiful additions to any woman’s closet.

The quality is unparalleled and the design reaches just the right balance of classic restraint and modern freedom with an overall effect of empowering the feminine.

“Today everyone is talking about gender. Yves decided to pass the power from the men’s shoulders to the women’s,” he revealed. “We never interfered with each other, I never went to his studio. I decided to respect the creation before the business.” – Pierre Bergé, Yves St. Laurent Business Partner

 

White stilettos with gold heels and matching clutch for Yves St. Laurent #FCM #Glamorous #YSL:

 

Saint Laurent hypnotized with his imaginative creations. An exacting sense of color, cut, exoticism and androgyny were his signatures, as was the infamously fragile constitution that led him to retreat from the fashion world altogether in his final years. Yet his influence remains strong—current designers such as Marc Jacobs, Miuccia Prada and Jean Paul Gaultier frequently reference Saint Laurent’s work in their own collections. Over the course of his 40-plus-year career, Saint Laurent regularly produced a legacy of instant classics (the trapeze dress, the safari jacket, the Mondrian shift and the eternally iconic le smoking) not to mention the concept of ready-to-wear, which he launched in 1966 with his Rive Gauche collection. Then there are those initials, three letters—YSL—that will forever be associated with the pinnacle of French chic.

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” – Yves St. Laurent

“Over the years, I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who wears it.” – Yves St. Laurent

“We must never confuse elegance with snobbery.” – Yves St. Laurent

“Isn’t elegance forgetting what one is wearing?” – Yves St. Laurent

Gorgeous color combination from Yves Saint Laurent.:

 

 

Blazer Jacket

 

 

 

Yves Saint Laurent ~  Lip and Shadow  Colors:

 

Subdued neutral outfit perfect for pairing with that Saint Laurent handbag. #bloggers #outfit #bags:

 

#street #style pink pink black black Yves Saint Lauret @wachabuy:

 

 

The Allure of the Cat-Woman

Women, dear reader, have been associated with cats since the antiheroine character was first invented in the Batman series.

Perhaps more widely known now from the 2004 film in which Halle Berry starred as the central “Catwoman”, the juxtaposition in society’s mind about women and cats is certainly fascinating.

 

Amanda Seyfried by Vincent Peters for Glamour Spain November 2015:

 

Look at the graceful movements of a cat. Observe the lazy seductive stretches of its body. Cats are the natural exhibitors of female sex appeal. Any woman wanting to learn seductive female body language could learn well from observing a cat, and carry herself in a similar fashion. Humans have always been seduced by this appeal of these creatures from history.

Cats, dear reader, have been judged to be very feminine creatures (after all, they are referred to as felines), and if a woman would like to act in a more feminine manner, she would do well to observe and incorporate the sleek grace and cold independence of a cat.

Cats, unlike dogs, can take care of themselves; they spend many hours of each day grooming and in general, seem far less dependent upon their human owners to provide for them.

Cats can seem very self-absorbed as well, and unlike dogs do not lavish constant attention on their owner.  Instead, they go about their business and make it known when they want affection by rubbing against one’s legs, purring loudly, or staring intently with large and transfixing eyes.

Catwoman:

Most importantly, dear reader, if you wish to act in the same feline manner of the cat (or catwoman), then it is necessary for you to be independent, emotionally, financially, and otherwise, as this is what will enable you to bargain for love and affection only when and how you want it, rather than tolerating less that what you both desire and deserve (:

Try picking up a cat at any time, and see how it will scratch you. A cat’s affection for you is essentially an act of investment on it’s end.  Cats only need affection on their own terms.

 

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Perfume

Perfume, dear reader, has the power to transform (:

It turns the dull and every-day into the fascinating and charming.

 

25 Best Perfumes  Scent can be a very personal thing -- what makes one person feel like a goddess can make another gag -- but some fragrances are (almost) universally loved. From designer perfume brands like Chanel and Dior to more discount fragrances by Aveda and Mary Kay, see which top beauty products our readers love most.:

 

A woman, dear reader, is often known by the perfume she wears; it is a signature.

“It creates a shimmering invisible armor that lingers in a room long after its wearer has gone and infuses our imagination with a subtle power, hinting at a hidden identity.”

What is perhaps so appealing about a woman’s perfume, dear reader, is its subtlety.

It is enough to notice and become aware of, but it stops there; unlike perhaps some other accessories, it is designed to attract attention to the woman wearing it, not to the object itself.

It is therefore important to select the right scent, both for one-self and for the occasion.

It is worth it to visit a high-end perfume retailer and spend some time carefully going through the various products, testing them to determine which is the best fit for you.

 

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Remember, dear reader, that nowhere is the maxim “quality over quantity” more true than in the search for one’s perfume.

Several bottles of well-chosen perfume may last a woman years (:

Hastily choosing the wrong ones, though, will likely result in a purchase that goes unused, rarely used, or must be thrown out.

It is worth stressing, dear reader, that it absolutely does not pay to be cheap when shopping for a perfume.

Perfumes can be anywhere from light, flirty, and playful to deep, moody, and dramatic.

They are often categorized by flavor as either citrus, sweet or fruity, floral, woodsy, oriental, spicy, and fresh, but there are also different forms of the product that you should be familiar with as well (taken from perfume.com):

 

Beautiful perfume bottle:

 

Parfum

Parfum, also known as extrait de parfum or pure perfume, has the highest fragrance concentration. Parfum will contain anywhere from 15% to 40% fragrance however concentration is generally between 20% to 30% for most parfums. Of all scents, parfums last the longest; usually six to eight hours. Parfum generally also commands the highest price of all the fragrance types due to the high concentration of fragrance. People with sensitive skin may do better with parfums as they have far less alcohol than other fragrance types and therefore are not as likely to dry out the skin.

Eau de Parfum

After parfum, eau de parfum (EDP) has the next highest concentration of fragrance. Eau de parfum generally has a fragrance concentration of between 15% and 20%. On average, eau de parfum will last for four to five hours. It is also generally less expensive that parfum and while it does have a higher concentration of alcohol than parfum, it is better for sensitive skin than other fragrance types. Eau de parfum is one of the most common fragrance types and is suitable for everyday wear.

 

How to make your perfume last—on your skin and on the shelf:

 

Eau de Toilette

Eau de toilette (EDT) has a fragrance concentration of between 5% and 15%. It is cheaper than eau de parfum and is one of the most popular types of fragrance available. EDT fragrance will normally last for two to three hours. Eau de toilette is considered by some to be for daywear while eau de parfum is considered nightwear. The term eau de toilette came from the French term “faire sa toilette” which means getting ready.

Eau de Cologne

Eau de cologne, or EDC, has a much lower concentration of fragrance than the above types of perfume. EDC generally has a 2% to 4% percent concentration of fragrance and a high concentration of alcohol. It is cheaper than other types of fragrance however the scent generally only lasts for up to two hours. EDC generally comes in bigger bottles and more of the fragrance needs to be used. Originally eau de cologne referred to a traditional recipe that used herb and citrus notes with little anchoring with base notes.

 

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Eau Fraiche

Eau fraiche is similar to eau de cologne in that the scent will generally last for up to two hours. Eau fraiche has an even lower concentration of fragrance than eau de cologne, normally only 1% to 3%. While eau fraiche has a low fragrance concentration, it does not contain a high amount of alcohol. Along with the fragrance, the remainder of eau fraiche is mostly water.

 

“A woman who doesn’t wear perfume has no future.” – Coco Chanel

 

Happy perfume shopping (:

 

 

black&white:

How to get rid of any insecurity

Many women, dear reader, are unfortunately plagued with dozens of insecurities.

And even worse than the negative emotions these insecurities cause, they too often hold women back from living their lives fully and achieving their potential as great and high-value women.

 

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The problem with insecurities, dear reader, is that they are rooted in a sense of shame.

And this shame is what must be overcome.

It is often so deeply ingrained, however, that it seems nearly impossible.

No matter the insecurity, whether it be a physical defect, being overweight, or some other “flaw” what first must be done, dear reader, is that you must give yourself permission to feel the way you do about it.

A level of acceptance must be reached.  Whatever the subject of the insecurity, in order to let go of it and truly overcome it, you must first come to the point where you step outside of yourself to view it, and have a reaction that is best approximated by the phrase “so what.” (:

 

white dress:

 

No flaw or perceived one, dear reader, is worth putting yourself down over and definitely is not worth putting your life on hold for, in any way.

And no circumstance or flaw is all your own fault. Sure, some of it (or maybe a large part of it) was due to your own actions and choices or patterns of behavior, but a part of it was created by external factors that were out of your control.

Once you understand the truth of this, you stop blaming yourself – you forgive yourself and by doing so take back your own power.

This isn’t to say that you need to celebrate or display to the world proudly your defects and faults, dear reader.  Unhealthy conditions, shame, and unhappiness are not matters for commemoration.

 

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After you have stopped blaming yourself, you are free to take positive action to either correct the insecurity or to embrace it if you can’t do anything about it.

Once you are taking action and have given yourself permission to feel as you do, no one will be able to use your insecurities against you, dear reader.

In fact, you will learn in time, that that is the entire basis of most insecurities; and anyone who criticizes you or attempts to make you feel bad about some aspect of yourself, dear reader, is likely only attempting to steal your power from you.  They do it because it is so effective, so much of the time.

 

Masculine Study/Office.  I could "blow s$*! up" in this office!!!:

 

Once you realize this, though, you will see it for what it is and understand that even if any criticism does have any basis in reality, most detractors do not truly care about your “flaws” – they simply want to throw you off-balance in order to feel empowered themselves.

There are many ways to counter such criticism, dear reader.  Most effective, is to simply ask and understand where your critic is coming from. Often they are attacking you or subtly belittling you because their is a deeper issue of their own that needs addressing.  However, this is not always the case, and when that’s true the best defense is a well-bred and cultured indifference which will undoubtedly infuriate them (:

 

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A Formidable Woman

A formidable woman, dear reader, is one who knows what she wants and is not afraid to go after it.

She is a woman who is fierce, brave, strong, and yet at the same time feminine and a woman.

 

Women should return to this style. Full skirt, high heels and tight sweater top. Classy and sexy.:

 

“I am a woman above everything else.” – Jackie Kennedy

The formidable woman may not be universally liked, dear reader, but she is universally respected.

When she speaks, people listen.  When she acts, they pay attention.

She is what is called a significant woman, dear reader.

Her actions and her words matter – she has made sure to that.

Most great men will want a formidable woman by their side, and all formidable women, dear reader have in common an inner strength that never fails to attract such men to them.

 

Turmoil in the middle east is at least as old as Cleopatra, a cunning vixen who presided over a vast grain producing empire.

 

To be loved by a man is one thing, dear reader, but to earn his respect, one must also be formidable.

Being formidable in a relationship or a marriage means standing up for and acting from one’s beliefs and values, regardless of circumstances or strong and swaying emotions.

This is not easy to do, which is why such women are so rare.

The formidable woman does not chase after a man, she simply gives him a green or red light indicating what he should do, then lets him act on his own time – she is strong enough to deal with the consequences of either decision he makes, and she is strong enough to wait if that’s what she must do.

She does not change her values or her views to suit his.  She has a mind of her own and is not afraid to use it to make her own life choices and decisions.  She seeks input and advice from others when necessary, but she never allows anyone to do this for her.

 

Elizabeth Taylor

 

The formidable woman does not crumble in a crisis or a difficult situation.  She stands with her head held high, assesses things calmly, and does what needs to be done, however unpleasant that may be.

Most of all, dear reader, the formidable woman has a purpose greater than herself in life.  She seeks to make a difference in the world, and she works towards that every day.

 

The 21 Most Commented and Liked Shoe Photos of January 2015: